Chorus of Marks: BattleWars 1999

 

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Ah, BattleWars,the annual meeting of Inspire Pro and Chikara Pro here in Austin, Texas. This is always an amazing and crazy show that has some unique match ups, letting the best of Austin, Texas and Inspire meet the best of  Chikara.  We have had the Colony, Icarus, Dasher Hatfield and Mr. Touchdown among many others. Some will be returning and others we will be seeing for the first time at this BattleWars.

For Chorus of Marks this time around Shana (@Literarygrrrl) and I will be each defending one company. She chose Inspire Pro, so she will be taking them to win and defending them against my debate points saying why the Chikara guys and gals will be the ones walking out the winner. For the matches where it is not Inspire vs Chikara, we will flip a coin to decide who we are going to defend to win for the show.  Hopefully others, including fellow fans, will pitch in and give their opinions.

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“The Best Ever” Sammy Guevara vs “The War King” Eddie Kingston:

Brandon R: I know that Shana will point out that Sammy has won several  of his last few Inspire Pro matches against some great opponents like Matt Cross, Lince Dorado and Ray “Death” Rowe. While this is true, he has been impressive. But Eddie Kingston has been a hell of a force for a long time and has seen it all and fought and won against many of the best, all over. He is not called “The War King” for no reason. I think if anyone can use Sammy’s biggest weakness, which is his ego, and bring out moves and mind games that Sammy won’t be expecting, it is Edddie. Winner: Eddie Kingston

Shana: Come on, now. Eddie Kingston is good, but he is most definitely NOT the “Best Ever.” Nor does he have pandas on his gear. Those two attributes belong solely to Sammy Guevara. ‘Nuff said. Winner: Sammy Guevara

XX Division Championship Match: Jessica James(C) vs Ivory Robyn:

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Brandon R: Shana called heads on our coin toss and it was tails, so I chose Jessica James, as I have been following her for a long time and have loved her run in Inspire. The way Ivory made her debut was quite a show, but while it made an impact and got her attention, we know little else about her. Showing off is cool, but can she back it up? We KNOW Jessica can and has beaten many of the best out there from Mia Yim/Jade to Portia Perez to Brittany Wonder. Even bested Vanassa Kraven, who had her number twice before. This new woman comes in and thinks she can knock Jessica James off the top spot ,but please, have your 15 minutes fame and enjoy being in the ring with the best Ivory. Winner: Jessica James 

Shana: It’s true that Jessica James has had a very impressive run as XX division champion, but that run can’t last forever. Ivory Robyn made quite a statement with her entrance, and I respect that. We’ll see what she brings to her match with the champion. Winner: Ivory Robyn

Juicy” Cherry Ramons vs Mystery Opponent w/ “The Paradigm of Positivity” Greg Symonds:

Brandon R:  Mystery Opponent! So how do you defend a mystery man? Well they will have the Paradigm of Positivity, Mr. Greg Symonds on their side! This man knows a lot and due to the injury he got during his last match with Cherry, meaning he most likely has a grudge, and has been studying Cherry to help the person he is bringing in. The hints are he will be this man’s life coach, as they said man I am discounting Kat Greene. Symonds is bringing him from the darkness, that he is known but we have not seen him in a while. Winner: Mystery 

So who could the mystery opponent be? Let me look over some choices and the the chances.

Jordan Jensen: At one point he was in the running for the Inspire Pro belt, so way up there, then a feud with Jojo who is no lightweight but vanished quite some time ago, pretty much from the Austin scene. He still runs strong elsewhere but the chances he is returning to Austin, much less Inspire are pretty low.

Scot Summers: Teaming with Greg? Needing a Life Coach? I don’t think so. When Scot comes back it will be on HIS terms, not someone else’s.

Steve O’ former tag partner in Hollywood Knives(Brad or Bradley):  He had a darkness in his soul for sure, and also had or has revenge in his heart against Steve, which may mesh with Greg and his goals. What a hell of a return that would be and a possible win over Cherry Ramons would be a hell of a way back in.

Great Depression/Hollywood Strangler:  Unmasked and seeking forgiveness for whatever darkness they had in their souls, no one could use a life coach as much as these two, but I don’t think even Greg could find them or bring them back after their various disappearances. 

JC Bravo: Last time we saw him he was part of Gregory James’s dark group and known as a smurf in many other places. So a life coach, a good one, could bring him back from that old darkness an into a smurfy place, but while this is close to who I really think it is, I am putting my money on my last choice.

Jeff Gant: This is my choice. He was also part of the Darkness of Gregory’s Unholy team, but never quite fit in. He never went quite dark enough for them and was kicked out before it fell apart, so I can see him looking for a life coach. Also, with his history with ACH and the connection ACH and Symonds have, this makes sense in several promotions and I think Biss, Max, and Josh have worked with and know Jeff Gant better then JC Bravo, which gives him the edge. Jeff Gant wanting to prove himself and having a ego similar to Cherry’s and with Symonds on his side, could be what he needs to propel himself up in Inspire if I am right. I think he will do everything in his power, including his “famous” dropkick to beat Cherry and give notice to the Inspire Pro locker room.

Shana: Oh Brandon, I love you, but you are so wrong here. Gregory Symonds’ personal brand of feisty positivity will NOT be enough to best the Juiciest Wrestler in Texas. And yes, I AM calling Cherry Ramons the Juiciest Wrestler in Texas. #Juiciest <— let’s get this trending Winner: Cherry Ramons

The Return of the Hoss Bowl: Tim “The Perfect” Storm vs “The American Psycho” Lance Hoyt vs Tursas: *See Below as this match has changed.

Brandon R:  So you have current WWE superstar Cesaro on your team, who we have seen lift up people and is the king of  swing and used that move on some big dudes. So when he is NOT your heavy hitter for your team, that is saying something, Tursas was an almost UNSTOPPABLE force for his team. The very textbook of Hoss and I love that this is back. The fact that with these men you can only fit three of them in the ring. While I am taking nothing from Tim Storm, who is your new NWA Champion and had to beat Jax “Godzilla” Dane to get that, and the guy who EMBRACES the name Psycho Lance Hoyt, but Tursas has all the strength and is quite agile to boot. Winner: Tursas

Shana: Tursas Shmursas. LANCE HOYT WILL CRUSH HIM. Winner: Lance Hoyt

* The first big change is in the Tim Storm/Lance Hoyt/Tursas: Tim Storm can not make it due to some NWA obligations, so it is now a one on one with American Psycho Lance Hoyt vs Tursas meaning that Shana now has to take Hoyt and I can stick with Tursas and while Hoyt is a monster as well, he is more of a bully and Tursas is just monster though and through. I still give the win to Tursas.

 

Jojo Bravo vs “Freshly Squeezed” Orange Cassidy:

Brandon R: Orange Cassidy is a weird one in the ring, he doesn’t do anything by any normal rules. Jojo is great at using his opponent’s strength against them and adapt his style to theirs, but Cassidy doesn’t even fight half the time. Jojo won’t really have anything to use against him. His style doesn’t match any one else’s, so I think that Jojo will have met his match this time, with nothing to feed off of, Orange doesn’t even speak much. Winner: Orange Cassidy

Shana: Yes, Brandon, we all love to laugh at Orange Cassidy’s antics. He’s hilarious. But you know who isn’t funny and also doesn’t care about Orange Cassidy’ jokes? Jojo. While Orange Cassidy is sleep-walking around the ring to the amusement of the fans, Jojo is going to be preparing to KICK HIS ASS. Winner: Jojo Bravo

Brandon R: Lets hope that Orange has something to say, as we all know that when it comes to speaking, Jojo loses EVERYTIME.

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Triple Threat Match “Absolute” Ricky Starks vs Aaron Solow vs Dasher Hatfield: *See Below, this match has changed.

Brandon R: IT IS DASHER HATFIELD! He is awesome! Starks has not had many wins as of late and seems to be unsure what his future holds. Solow is new to Inspire having only been here once before. Dasher has been here for all the BattleWars and knows most of the players, having seen them or faced them. Dasher is amazing in the ring and is so much fun. I really want him to win this one. Winner: Dasher Hatfield

Shana: Dasher Hatfield is, indeed an awesome wrestler and a gentleman. But Brandon, gentlemen don’t win wrestling matches. Ricky Starks is ANGRY and HUNGRY for the win. Winner: Ricky Starks

* This match has changed as well. Keith Lee has ROH obligations, so his teaming up with Tempo will have to wait. Tempo will now be part of the former three way match with Starks, Solow, and  Dasher Hatfield making it a 4 way dance with Tempo as the fourth man. This doesn’t change my vote but it does make it harder for Dasher to win, I have no doubt that Shana will change her vote to Tempo and I do wish him luck but he have a huge uphill battle. Dasher is still the man.

Steve O Reno vs Ophidian: *See Below, this match has changed.

Brandon R: In almost every case I would go for Steve O Reno, and he has had a hell of a run against Chikara, winning pretty much every time he has crossed paths with them. But Ophidian is something different. Steve has faced the fun and friendly side from Dasher and Mr. Touchdown, but this man has Snake Style and is part of the Osirian Portal. I think this is the man to put a stop to Steve’s winning streak. Winner Ophidian 

Shana: Steve O Reno is, in all possible respects, “Mr. Inspire Pro Wrestling.” There is NO WAY IN THE WORLD that he can lose to this Egyptian-wanna-be from Chikara. Just not going to happen. Winner: Steve O Reno

*The Steve O Reno vs Ophidian match has been changed and combined with the Main Event! Steve and Ophidian will be teaming up to battle the Colony!!! Steve is in the main event and that is damn cool but they have NEVER worked each other, either as teammates or opponents while the Colony has been doing this for quite some time, working with each other and many other ants. Steve has spent quite some time in Tag matches but has been on his own for quite some time now and has even attacked friends and teammates so Ophidian should watch his back. I think the Ants have this for several reason.

The New Movement(Terrale Tempo/”Limitless” Keith Lee) vs The Colony(Fire Ant/Silver Ant): *See Below, this match has changed.

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Brandon R:  Oh man, this one is tough! I love all 4 of these guys and normally I would be fully behind Tempo and Lee, but the Colony is a great group and Fire and Silver Ant have been here several times and it is always great and fun matches. Tempo and Lee are new partners and are both great by themselves, but as a team the Ants have it down, both in tag and factions. They are great together and they could take these guys down with tag team moves. It won’t be easy for The Colony, but I know they have what it takes to take on The New Movement. Winner: The Colony

Shana: OH COME ON, BRANDON. I know you’re just following form. I KNOW the only reason you are voting for the Ants to win is because you pledged to root for Chikara during this year’s Battlewars. There’s no other possible explanation. Individually, Keith Lee and Terrale Tempo are formidable forces. But together! Oh man! We’re going to have to count ourselves as lucky if they don’t break the ring! Winner: The New Movement

Brandon R: Please, I remember how much you gushed over The Ants when you first met them several years ago. You will agree that they are fun and a very tough team to beat.

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What does it mean? NEXT SHOW!!!

 

 Inspire and Chikara are going to battle like it is 1999! The matches are great, and the Hoss Bowl is back! This one will be one not to miss with some unique team ups and some old and new friends from Chikara. I can’t wait to see how this all goes down. Come down to the Red Oak Ballroom this Saturday, Oct 29th. Also after the show come to the after party!

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